Growing up, my parents utilized two different types of parenting styles, authoritarian and authoritative. Their authoritarian style of parenting lasting from the time I could talk up until I entered middle school. As a young child, my life was laid out for me by my parents. I was told what to wear, who to be friends with, how to act, and what activities I was allowed to be involved in. There were many rules in my house that my brother and I had to follow. For instance, neither my brother nor I could play with friends after school. We both were made to go straight home and complete our homework. Then, if we had time, we were permitted to play in our backyard, as long as we had helped prepare for dinner. There were also rules about swearing and talking back to our parents; I can remember being grounded for entire summers because I had sworn in my parents' presence. For the longest time, I grew up in a very controlled, strict household.
As I grew older, my parents grew relaxed in their parenting style. It became less what they wanted for me and more what I wanted for myself. I could choose the activities I wanted to be involved with; for instance, I was able to give up Girl Scouts and start running track. My parents still had high expectations when it came to school and my grades. I continued to get grounded for bad marks (in my house anything lower than a B was horrible) and I still could not go out after school. However, I started to have more freedom in the way I dressed, and I was able to choose the friends I wanted to hang out with. This greater sense of freedom made me feel more in control, and I was less likely to act out.
Without a doubt, I would definitely be a different person if my parents had chosen to bring me up with a different parenting style. I think I would be more outgoing if my parents had been less authoritarian and more authoritative. As I am now, I am too shy and less assertive. I tend to accredit this to my lack of say in my house as a child. I also know my relationship with schools and my grades would not be the same growing up in a different household. Still to this day, I am always afraid to get back my grades because I am worried about how well I did and if my parents would approve. On the other hand, my parents did instill in me some valuable traits that I could not live without. My parents taught me to be well mannered and polite. They pushed me to go beyond my limits and be the best at whatever I did. Sometimes, they might have pushed me too far, but no parent is perfect.
Q: Do you agree with how you were raised? What parenting style do you think produes the best results?
No comments:
Post a Comment